things i can control circle
As human beings, we often find ourselves in situations where we feel helpless and out of control. From personal relationships to global events, there are many things that are beyond our control. However, despite these external factors, there are still many things that we can control in our lives. These things may seem small and insignificant, but they have a powerful impact on our overall well-being and happiness. In this article, we will explore the concept of the “things I can control circle” and how understanding and focusing on these things can lead to a more fulfilling and empowered life.
What is the “things I can control circle”?
The “things I can control circle” is a visualization technique that helps us to identify and focus on the aspects of our life that we have control over. It is a simple yet powerful tool that can help us to shift our mindset from a victim mentality to one of empowerment. The circle is divided into two parts – the inner circle and the outer circle.
The inner circle represents the things that we have direct control over. These are the things that we can change or influence through our actions and decisions. They include our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and reactions to situations. For example, we may not be able to control the weather, but we can control how we respond to it. Do we let a rainy day ruin our mood, or do we find joy in curling up with a good book and a cup of tea?
On the other hand, the outer circle represents the things that we have little or no control over. These are external factors such as other people’s opinions, the economy, or natural disasters. It is important to note that while we may not have control over these things, we do have control over how we react to them. By focusing on the inner circle, we can learn to let go of the things that are beyond our control and focus our energy on the things that we can control.
Why is it important to focus on the things we can control?
Focusing on the things we can control is crucial for our mental and emotional well-being. When we constantly worry about things that are beyond our control, we become stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed. This can lead to a negative spiral of thoughts and emotions, ultimately affecting our overall quality of life.
On the other hand, when we focus on the things we can control, we feel more empowered and in charge of our lives. We are able to make decisions that align with our values and goals, rather than being at the mercy of external factors. This can lead to a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction, as we take ownership of our lives and actively work towards our desired outcomes.
How to identify the things we can control?
Identifying the things we can control can be a challenging task, especially when we are so used to focusing on the things we can’t control. The first step is to shift our perspective and mindset. Instead of dwelling on the things that are beyond our control, we need to actively look for things that we have control over.
One way to do this is by asking ourselves the question, “What can I do about this?” For example, if we are feeling overwhelmed by our workload, we can ask ourselves, “What can I do about this?” The answer may be to prioritize our tasks, delegate some of the work, or communicate with our superiors about our workload. By asking this question, we shift our focus from feeling overwhelmed to finding solutions.
Another way to identify the things we can control is by practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being present and aware of our thoughts, emotions, and surroundings. Through mindfulness, we can recognize when we are focusing on things that are beyond our control and redirect our attention to the things we can control. This can help us to let go of worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, and instead, focus on the present moment.
What are some things we can control?
Now that we understand the concept of the “things I can control circle” and how to identify the things we can control, let’s explore some examples of things we can control in our lives.
1. Our thoughts – While we may not be able to control the thoughts that pop into our mind, we can control how we respond to them. We can choose to dwell on negative thoughts or redirect our attention to more positive and empowering ones.
2. Our reactions – We may not have control over other people’s actions, but we have control over how we react to them. Instead of getting angry or upset, we can choose to respond calmly and assertively.
3. Our emotions – While it’s natural to experience a range of emotions, we can control how we express and manage them. For example, if we feel anxious, we can practice deep breathing or engage in a calming activity.
4. Our self-care – We have control over how we take care of ourselves, both physically and mentally. This includes getting enough rest, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring us joy and relaxation.
5. Our relationships – While we can’t control how others behave, we can control how we communicate and interact with them. We can set boundaries, express our needs and wants, and choose to surround ourselves with positive and supportive people.
6. Our goals and priorities – We have control over our own goals and what we prioritize in our lives. By setting clear goals and priorities, we can make decisions that align with our values and lead us towards a fulfilling life.
7. Our actions – We have control over our own actions and decisions. By taking responsibility for our choices, we can actively work towards creating the life we desire.
8. Our mindset – We may not have control over external circumstances, but we have control over our mindset. By cultivating a positive and growth-oriented mindset, we can face challenges with resilience and optimism.
9. Our habits – Our habits shape our daily lives and ultimately determine our future. We have control over our habits, and by developing healthy and positive habits, we can improve our overall well-being and success.
10. Our attitude – We may not have control over what happens to us, but we have control over how we perceive and respond to situations. By cultivating a positive attitude, we can find opportunities and learning experiences in every situation.
In conclusion, the “things I can control circle” is a powerful tool that can help us to shift our mindset from feeling overwhelmed and helpless to empowered and in control. By focusing on the things we can control, we can improve our mental and emotional well-being, make better decisions, and actively work towards creating the life we desire. So the next time you find yourself feeling out of control, remember the “things I can control circle” and shift your focus to the things that truly matter.
healing from parental narcissistic abuse
Healing from parental narcissistic abuse can be a long and difficult journey, but it is possible with the right support and tools. Narcissistic abuse from a parent can have a profound impact on a person’s self-esteem, relationships, and overall well-being. It is a form of emotional and psychological abuse that can leave lasting scars on a person’s psyche.
What is parental narcissistic abuse?
Parental narcissistic abuse occurs when a parent uses their child as a means to fulfill their own needs and desires. This can manifest in various ways, such as constant criticism, manipulation, emotional neglect, and invalidation of the child’s feelings and experiences.
Narcissistic parents often have an inflated sense of self-importance and lack empathy for others, including their own children. They may see their child as an extension of themselves and expect them to reflect their own successes and achievements. This can result in the child feeling pressured to constantly seek the approval and validation of their parent, leading to a cycle of emotional abuse.
Effects of parental narcissistic abuse
The effects of parental narcissistic abuse can be far-reaching and impact a person’s life well into adulthood. It can damage their self-esteem, self-worth, and ability to form healthy relationships. Children who grow up with narcissistic parents may struggle with feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and shame. They may also have difficulty setting boundaries and asserting themselves in situations where their needs are not being met.
Children of narcissistic parents may also develop codependent tendencies, constantly seeking validation and approval from others. This can lead to a pattern of attracting toxic and manipulative relationships. In some cases, the child may also adopt narcissistic traits themselves, as a means of coping with their parent’s behavior.
Healing from parental narcissistic abuse
Healing from parental narcissistic abuse is a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and support from others. It is important to acknowledge and validate the pain and trauma that was experienced, as well as the impact it has had on one’s life. Here are some steps to take in the healing process:
1. Seek therapy
Therapy can be a crucial tool in healing from parental narcissistic abuse. A trained therapist can provide a safe and non-judgmental space to process and make sense of the abuse. They can also help the individual develop coping strategies and address any underlying issues that may have contributed to the dynamics in the parent-child relationship.
2. Practice self-care
Self-care is essential in the healing process. This can include activities that promote self-love and self-compassion, such as journaling, meditation, exercise, and spending time in nature. It is also important to set boundaries and prioritize one’s own needs and well-being.
3. Connect with supportive people
It can be difficult to share one’s experiences with parental narcissistic abuse, but connecting with supportive and understanding people can be incredibly healing. This can include friends, family members, or support groups where one can share their story and receive validation and empathy.
4. Challenge negative thoughts
Children of narcissistic parents often internalize the negative messages they received, leading to a constant inner critic. It is important to challenge these negative thoughts and replace them with more realistic and positive ones. This can be a difficult process, but with practice, it can help improve self-esteem and self-worth.
5. Learn about narcissistic personality disorder
Understanding narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can help in the healing process. It can provide insight into the behavior of the parent and help the individual realize that the abuse was not their fault. It can also help in setting boundaries and managing expectations in future relationships.
6. Allow yourself to grieve
Healing from parental narcissistic abuse involves grieving the loss of the idealized parent-child relationship. It is natural to feel anger, sadness, and disappointment towards the parent for not being able to provide the love and support that was needed. Allowing oneself to grieve can be an important step in the healing process.
7. Practice forgiveness
Forgiveness is not about excusing the abuser’s behavior, but rather about letting go of the anger and resentment that may be holding one back. This can be a challenging process, but forgiveness can bring a sense of peace and closure.
8. Set healthy boundaries
Setting boundaries is crucial in protecting oneself from further abuse and maintaining healthy relationships. This can involve saying no to unreasonable demands from the parent, limiting contact, and being assertive in expressing one’s needs and wants.
9. Focus on personal growth
Healing from parental narcissistic abuse can also be an opportunity for personal growth. It can involve learning to trust oneself, building self-esteem, and developing healthy coping mechanisms. This can help break the cycle of abuse and create a fulfilling and fulfilling life.
10. Be patient with yourself
Healing from parental narcissistic abuse is not a linear process and it takes time. It is important to be patient with oneself and acknowledge that healing is a journey with ups and downs. It is also important to celebrate small victories and milestones along the way.
In conclusion, healing from parental narcissistic abuse is a complex and challenging process, but it is possible. It involves acknowledging the past trauma, seeking support, and focusing on personal growth and self-care. With time and effort, one can break free from the cycle of abuse and create a healthier and happier life. Remember, you are not alone and you deserve to heal and thrive.